Reply to Mathias

I think you managed to grasp the essence of this blog: to display brief streaks of thought and unqualified opinions (or rather, brief streaks of thought as unqualified opinions); it also started out catering for an extremely limited audience (maybe a dozen readers/contributors) and the tone of the posts were/are chosen accordingly, which should be acknowledged by the readership too.

For instance, I would never have put the black-gypsy analogy into one of my previous posts if my objective had not been to make Nikola obtain a graphic idea of the issue (and to make him laugh with an internal reference, as in "Scary, eh?").

Hence, not necessarily all of the ideas splurted out here are representative of their authors' overall opinions and beliefs, which as already noted, the reader should bear in mind.

Nevertheless, I damn enjoy bullshitting on this blog and will continue to do so without much consideration to political correctness, or feelings of some mysterious community. My primary audience is still that mixed bunch of the contributors (including, in a rather unique manner, Eduardo, Mathias, Alejandro, Nikola, and Ramy at one place!).

Hope you're doing good, Mr Pensive,

Laszlo

P.S. Khmm, and by the way, I still remember you walking over that Skoda in central Budapest in a manner and physical state almost true to a distinguished, prospective leader of the world...;)

A terrible dilema

I wish the word "like", used to substitute other words with actual meaning (and hence the degree of thinking requied to construct concise, coherent sentences), were eradicated from the English language.

Students of America, which word do you dream of mysteriously disappearing overnight?

hahaha
just check out this it's more than AWESOME

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_DGEGamRqc

The WSS

ANY HOW, you are being commended a mission.
have you ever seeen or experienced something that even though been so ridiculous, annoying, shitty, useless, horrifyng, unentertaining, kept you watching it till the end? or even worse!!! that after having gotten rid of the necessity to watch one keeps thinking of how the fuck can someone be like that? i wonder, am i alone in this war? kill´em all if they suck!!!!!how scary is the thought of me pondering upon such things? but really this go´ts me preocupied!!!
it´s perverted to think that people like this, in different dimentiond,,a nd with different personalities yet as horryfying, live among us. some even are in positions of power. they even make decissions affecting us all. wowowow... ephifany!!! i knew some people horrified me, but never to this extent.
please reply to this plea!!
ALE

COLLAGE (THE LIFESTORY OF A DIVA)

fucking catharsis!!! that should have been the name of the monologue i had to watch today.
mother fucker, that guy really pissed me off. it was like our beloved Alvaro only more annoying and gayyyyyyyyyy. you know i have no problem with homosexuality but sometimes they(as we all do) get so dod damn pretentious. their intonations specially are highly irritating.
well, basically the monologue was crap. and as i clsified it it was "anarco-trash-fuckinggayparade-theatre". but i must admit he had balls. few people are as mad as this motherfucker!!
one amazing thing i discovered was that he, she, it, whatever, took me through some trip. never before i have experienced so much from a performance. such an empty but enraging content. i started by thinking tha he didn´t project his voice very well, that the stage was filled with so much shit, and some other stupid wannabe critic views. but when i started realising that the background music was so loud and incongruent with what flowed of his mouth, blocking his speech, i thought: he probably had some bakstage problem or there is a failed coordination with the sound guy. i don’t know. but he kept irritating me more and more cause i started realising he meant all that and that he just wanted to grow scorn in the audience. i hated him. fucking asshole!!!! and then the music stopped and his voice was clear... ohhhhh... so irritating. what to do? i wanted to leave but i sort of wanted to see how horribhle the whole spectacle could get. pretty confusing. then he started mutating from character to character, all fucked up ones. for example as shown in the pictures.fucked up people, what to say? always interesting. there were moments where i cracked open laughing my ass of, others i literally covered my face thinking how embarrassing the whole experience was. then, as in a talk show the idiot approaches a guy seated a couple of sits to my right and starts interviewing him. the poor lost soul didn’t know where to hide. that was funny simply because of how ridiculOUSs and trashy it was. disastrous!!!!! how sad yet captivating?

am i really that fucked up or trashy, shitty, stupid, embarrassing, and annoying things can call somebody´s attention in such way?for real!! it sucked and i know it but i still think of what the flying fuck was crossing that idiot´s mind whe he decided to perform that.
please help me buy posting one of your story. i feel lonely in this mazzafkkaaaing world. share with me you experiences, you must had have some!!!!!

fucking stupid monologue... annoying, stupid, fruitless, and fucking shitty yet captivating. what am i? a funkey monkey? was that my banana?(don´t give a secondary redaing to these phrase, contextualise it.) i sttill prefer the bottomless pit of sensation!!!!

well... fucking queer mazzafakaaaaa!!!
till next posT

ALE

shit + occasional pleasures

i know this is no news to the eyes of the world, but surely is to yours. Last tuesday night I was playing football at 1:== am in the morning, for the sake of doing domething. then, i kicked a ball out of the field and i had to jump over a fence to recover it. i made it safe and sound but when i got myself up (cause even though i fell on my bruces i was impecably fine) i sort of try to run through some shitty field filled with trash and bullshity wholes in the ground (it was humid) itwsted my ancle. since then i haven´t been able tto do anything physical and i am getting mental; little by little!!!!! friends going out, football matches to play, all that shit. but i found salvation!!! the municipality is providing the people (specially young people) with shows, events, and a lot of theatre. majorely the plays and monologues are performed by amateur groups and company´s but they are damn good. out of 4 prformances they show every night one is always very good together with the monologues, then the other two are usually kind of sketchy but entertaining. way better than the united world circus!!!!! ;) one of the monologues, the one performed yesterday, was by a guy who thought of himself an ALISTAIR ROBERTSON!!!! he kicked ass. while explaining how to use the folder he held in his hand (which in reality was a bucket), with the very vulture style we all love and adore, he didn´t stop making constipation faces!!! very illustrative, ah? you should´ve been there. today i´ll go to the thetare once more and check if can identify any uwc hero, with a gustav gordon complex e.g. sorry for been such a boring guy but i hadn´t written for a while and i like to see my name in the page!! the fight we loose is the one we abandon. so don´t stop making shit!!!!!!! from al over the globe with a shit-making mission. till the next post. i salute you. ALE

bu

Just realised something, I smoke too much!
Btw Edu, did you ever think about making a 0-900 number, something like "Call the Guru, he knows all" and then you tell people how to make shit hahhaha?

The WSS

P.S Post your US mobile numbers I might have a way to call you for a very small price via mobile phone.

Just been to grab some cool sandwitches at a fast-food place in a rather squalid neighborhood with the two huge football players of our house- it was quite an experience being around with two other white kids in an all-black place. There you could find everything from crackheads to just simple gypsy-style sketchy characters, etc. Oh, yeah, and the place (a small street vendor, essentially) had 2-inch bulletproof windows. Awesome.

Seriously, Nikola, imagine the blacks here in Chicago as our gypsies, just in addition equipped with guns and drugs (crack is the popular shit around). Scary, eh?

All over there are smaller districts that are so fucked up that there are empty pieces of land inside the city; they are just left there since no one is willing to buy the property.

Other than that, I also checked a frat party out last Saturday night. Better than I expected, actually; think about a massive scale, old-fashioned cabin party (Ahh, I have a stiffy, can somebody give me a condom?? Ahhh! Right, distinguished WSS...?) with a low, flat entrance fee that entitles you to unlimited beer consumption. Even though the Guru is right about the abysmal condition the American beer producing industry is in.

Oh, and I am doing e-systems! Haluuu Ice age Earth! Ehm, the planet is tilted 20 degrees and there seems to be a correlation between CO2 levels and....

Yoyo!

A brief introduction to London

So what to say about London? Is it all what you have heard about? Does it look like you see on TV and reports? Is it fast live, is it hard to go around or is it actually simple to find your place under the sky?

Well, I guess it is a little bit of everything combined. Yes, I guess it is huge and I haven't seen even the tenth of it, but it kicks ass so much! Ok, where to start? First of all, I am situated in this area of London called the Camden town, which is quite nice and trendy - you have everything that you want there or that you can possibly imagine. It is 20 mins to the centre centre by subway and it is 20 mins walk from my uni so it is perfect for me. It is crowded as whole of London actually is, and there are all kinds of goods being sold everywhere - from fake cd's, kebab's, paki shops to entertaining mobile phone sellers. For some strange reason everybody is trying to sell me weed here, I've been asked 2 a day since I arrived if I want any by blacks and Paki's. One big black dude was walking with me for 10 mins, lowering the price until I refused 2 pounds hahahah he must have had some real shit! Otherwise, I've been to university, enroled and blah-blah, it was quite impressive to see the library, damn I bet a library denizens can fit there! Anyhow, academics is really really nice and I think I am going to enjoy it without any plagiarism. And finally, student union has some power,organises parties,cheap tickets to fancy clubs and helping you get a job, all those nice things that you expect them to do.I even had a residential hall meeting and they were telling us it is not nice to smoke kanabis, and that we should go to certain shop and buy booze there since it is cheaper than in other shops and that we can also get discounts at local residential bar on monday's and friday's so we don't pay too much in the clubs - can you actually imagine John saying that on college meeting? hahahahha. Oh and I live in a single room, I can smoke, fuck, smoke up,drink - whatever I want, maybe try peyota?? Kitchen is cool, I am making this foodplan with a nice German guy that lives in my corridor - btw, there is 8 people, 2 chinese girl,s german guy,me, 3 british girl, so I can do pretty much whatever :) Yes, it is not extravagant or extra comfortable but it is a nice student life with a future accessible if I do things properly - who can ask for more?

That's it for now, next up shops and how the fuck they make profit selling everything for 99p??

The WSS

P.S For Bazmeg - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTi_PhCcrRQ , and Laszlo don't try doint that!!

The Great Maharajah

Just found this legendary picture and had to post it - it is almost as cool as the Banana Lord in action :) Otherwise meeting new peoplw, the halls are getting filled in finally, the UK people are coming in...
P.S I know you all give a shit, but Liverpool won 3-0 against Tottenham today and I watched it in a pub...
P.S For Bazmeg - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-k-ZLX3L1Q0

Haluuuuuuu mazzaffakaz and cave residents

Here I am again, writing now from London town. Nothing much to report, just settled (caved) in my room, it's quite cool - I have a mirror and a lavatory, and a cool view - no complaints. Life is a bit hectic still - learning how to go around with z subway and around my area. Since I am self cattering I realised that they don't give anything for free - no dishes, no cuttlery, no spounges not even the toilet paper hahahha !! Anyhow, been to register myself, so many people, so many things to do - the cool thing is that I am done and am meeting a friend of mine from Belgrade tonight, a 32 yrs old dude who is doing I dunno what here, but he's a long story anyway! It's a good way to start a weekend anyways. Still chasing some cooking pots and other kitchen bullshit, until then check this out, as Edu would point out it is AWESOME!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZngjKBdR7U&mode=related&search=

The WSS

Some more pictures: Chicago downtown by night (by the Chicago river), campus. Note the admirably consistent neo-gothic architecture of the campus buildings; it really is quite beautiful.

I first and foremost must admit to having chickened out from smuggling, which might after all have been a good idea, as all my baggage was x-rayed at customs. Well, such is life.

This is the land of extremes, and I mean it. On the one hand wealth in proportions extraordinary even against Western European standards is on incessantly conspicuous display here (massive buildings, parks, infrastructure, cars, cell phones, eating out, etc); on the other, rough sleepers and social outcasts are pleading with you for some help equally relentlessly in downtown Chicago, on the South Side, in the streets, on the train, bus, everywhere. In the three neighborhoods surrounding campus the occurrence of violent crime is around 2000 per 100,000 residents (that is, 2/100!). Our students are either damn intelligent but ugly nerds (probably the majority) or empty athletes and frat kids. Or just stupid, ignorant, fat Tonje-style Americans. That is the worst; you can at least bullshit with the big idiotic football-players about pussies and various MF topics, while being proud of how big and rooster you are.

By the way, I am in a single room, and moreover the aesthetics of our campus is rather world-class. The food is fine too (I mean in the dining halls, otherwise you don’t find anything other than junk), and I am being poured on resources, which are only maintained to increase the costs of your college education and rip all the rich brats’ parents off and are quite irrelevant, but nice for me to have for free. Hehe, free riding the system is excellent.

I met Ognjen (a Serbian classmate of mine from Bosnia) yesterday; he looks like a typical member of the first-aider team (tall, huge and disheveled). I think we will in the future be capable of great things together...

On a different note (and on one which is primarily aimed at Nikola), a person yet to be identified has just recently leaked out a tape on which our prime minister said to a crowd of party members at an informal assembly “[…] we fucked it [governing] up. Not a little, but greatly. No government in Europe has made such a fuckup over the past five to ten years.[…] and in the meanwhile we didn’t do anything. Nothing. […]”. In turn all the lunatic fringes (and there’s a good deal of them, no matter how much we reiterate that we are Central, not Eastern, Europeans) took the streets rioting in the middle of Budapest for a couple of days, evoking scenes resembling civil war. Fukdup. But extremely amusing to observe such a select elite of my homeland’s idiots from several thousands of miles distance…

Fuck, stereotypes of Americans are TRUE! They are peasants. They first cut the food up into pieces, put the knife aside, and eat with a fork in the right hand. And the level of the dinner’s formality does not matter. They wear white socks to black pants. They don’t even consider letting the girl enter a room first. They practically vomit the words they speak (it is really queer to realize just how smart some of the guys are who hardly speak proper English in everyday life). Etc, etc. I actually am having cultural shocks. Quite stunning.

Concluding, I am finding the place more and more enjoyable and exciting by the day; it’s only that it’s a lot more fun talking crap about stuff (i.e. Americans, the university, etc) than praising it.

Best yo yos,

Bazmeg

A painted roof in an area designated for smoking, somewhere in between Tokyo and Milwaukee.

The WSS

Everybody in da cave, yo yo!!!

Apologies for the short post, but right now, I am in the middle of the preparatory phases of a high priority mission, concerning which I need urgent advice from experts, yes, you, cave-members, gurus, and various other constructive elements of society!

So I want to take a couple "little somethings" to the US with me as I'm travelling tomorrow, just to show those brats what's life like in the Eastern European reality; however, I am not sure how much my ass could potentially be kicked in the case that, (heaven forbid!) I do a slight Andreas Bakkerud and get caught at customs carrying alcohol being under 21. Could Uncle Sam fucking deport me back to where I came from? Or do I just get a John Lawrenson-type warning, very scary?

Promise to write more extensively soon. Until then, here are two pictures of how we lived for a month with MF, sheep, and our fleas in da house fishfarming near college!

Bazmeg

Beaten by a doofus(Mathias Esman Poulsen)

First of all I must admit I am beaten. Congrats Mathias, your interest in life and work of mister Pedersen is even more unusual interest than banana-picking.

So, I am going to introduce somebody. My friend Pavle, who is the funniest guy ever – an improved version of Alvaro in every sense has got a new pet – a small puddle called Puffy. We renamed the dog into Paki, the same name we use for Pavle, who, by his own words, hails from Pakistan (in Serbian flat=stan, so Paki’s flat=Pakistan). Paki brings every sort of entertainment in one’s life, so if you don’t have a Paki for a friend you don’t have anything!

On other fronts I have yesterday went out and before that I accomplished something. I finally converted Stefan to start smoking. As you all know I am really good at it. He still holds it as a dock worker though, but practice makes perfect as they say.

I met some of my friends from high school on the raft. This girl if you would believe it was the one we called a hermit back in those times – well times certainly changed. It struck me that we were 40 in that class and that many of those people are different now, a fact that is hard to understand, especially if you meet them somewhere where you don’t expect them and when they ask you about your sexual life. Well, good for them but no banana.

Finally I found this on the net and I think it is encouraging and positive sign for the future of this world. Just follow the link http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/5121786.stm . It warms my heart to see that people like that still exist.

The WSS

P.S A friend of mine, Terza told me a new piece of Serbian wisdom (which is updated daily if there is a need). Apparently, according to him, if you fuck a gypsy woman you will have 7 years of luck – hahahaha, which one of you has the guts to do that?

Yo mazzafakkaz,

a short post about something that just caught my eye. I just been to eat at my favourite place, called Loki. For those who have eaten there, you know how good it is! Anyhow, I want to describe my favourite vagabond - Cuti!

Cuti is a former priest by the name of Mardarije , and he was working in Montenegro. Alas, in the end rakija won over I guess. He stands next to the fast food place and says the same line every time:

Cuti! Dace bog. A ti meni?
Listen! The god will give. And you to me?

Today he was extra funny though. Below Loki there is a kiosk selling everything and anything with an ugly girl working there. Cuti was talking to her, saying "come,come,come to me. But no. she has a fucker." Free enterntainment, a vagabond fucking around with the shop seller, what else can you ask for???hahaha

The WSS

P.S Will add something else later today.

Some Like It Cancereey (or a brief introduction to...)


Old habits die hard they say... and it couldn't be more true.

Just a few days ago I contracted what they called at Student Health Services as "chronic bronchitis". It still doesn't stop me from adhering to my current 20 cigs-per-day habit. But as both the WSS and the Pharaoh/Caesar might know, I have already prevailed over the disease.

Otherwise, I find Amherst a great place. The academics kick ass, and while the social scene could be better, it doesn't mean we are at a lack for parties. I tried to upload a video of one but apparently, that doesn't work for blogspot.com . Strangely though, I do not have have very many international friends, apart from some other UWCers (2 of them). I would daresay that 95% of my friends are American. But THAT is a completely different topic.

Interesting events HAVE taken place, but unless I have some sort of visual aid material, I won't bother posting anything. In the meantime, here is a typical scene at Amherst.




- Notice the kids in khaki shorts and polo shirts. That seems to be the uniform here for all the jocks i.e. people not worth talking to. The buildings in the picture are Moore, the dorm where the KASA (Korean American Students' Association) and La Causa (stupid little latinos) members live; and Valentine's, the dining hall. Food is quite good here, that is, if you don't mind eating burgers, pizza, and hot dogs every single goddamn day. I usually try to make myself a kebab; it usually does not turn out to be succesful.


As for the other RCNers here, this Friday we (Katerina and moi) are expecting Penis to arrive this Friday. I'm more than confident that this will be an occasion to *ahem* conmemorate. In other words, expect drunken haze pictures.

Good work with the pics Bandido. Keep us on the loop. Pharaoh/Caesar, consider this an admonition to post shit....seriously...I've never been to Oregon and I guess that goes for everyone else concerned.

That being said, I'm off to smoke a cig (Marlboro Reds 100s) and cough some more.

As someone whom I hold in dear respect said: have fun kids!

The Guru

today´s post will be a brief introduction to "MURGA".

You guys can probably imagine how much i have been missing the good-old murga. So, this past saturday"her" and I got together again. It was beautifull! A special ocassion. I had been working all day as a volunteer organizing workshops fro other volunteers, preparing them fro the afternoon when we were going to work with some kids and advertise children rights in the name of Unicef. Don´t worry i don´t do that every day, it happens once a year. Unicef´s "todo por los niños" (everyhing for the kids -literally translated) was this special ocassion. Around nine after some rock bands, and silly music groups (for kids most of them) it was Agarrate Catalina´s turn; the MURGA CHAMPION this year.Fuck, it was unbelievable! They performed the whole show and i was staring anodized, dazed... simply lost in the beauty of something i had been longing so much.

The colors, the music, the songs, the laughters... tha fucking amzing voices! OHHHH... it was something!

this guy dressed as Ronald McDonal is part of the cuplé, that is the part of the murga when they dedicate some songs and acting time to mock some idiot who desrves it. AWESOME, and damn funny as well !!

Oki, i have been writing to much, or watsing too many lines as Ramón, my islamic friend, says.

I just wanted to share this because it was epic! it desrves to be told and shared. i hope you had enjoyed it.

Until my nexy post!

BESOS EN EL CULO,

ALE

Yo mazzafakazz!

Just talked to the one and only and he told me his school safety internet bullshit and some more bs policy stops him from joining us in making this blog. Now that is something we definitely need to remedy.

Otherwise I have been burning a lot CDs for my travels, and doing some ordinary and boring things. Oh, one of my grandparents turned 82 today, wtf what kind of life perspective do you have at that age?? It’s funny though to see that it is true – all people have three phases in their life child, adult and child again.

Before I forget, the Jungle game I was talking about

http://www.jungletribe.com/jungle%20tribe.swf

Anyhow I also noticed that the school started again – some good old time we are never able to go back to again… 9 days to new adventures!

P.S Just checked, I am the only user that has interest in banana-picking!!

well, well, well. here is my little contribution to a worthy blog-ass-kicking-invitation, I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HURT (WHICH IS UNBUTONED AND DRIPPING BLOOD) :) just some rabbitshit until I find time to download some cool and refreshing pictures(photographs in other words) that I would like to share. until then, BESOS EN EL CULO

A Note on Guru-ness

This is part of something I posted elsewhere on the net. I am certain that the following will briefly and effectively summarize and give and account of my summer. As I write this, I find myself in Amherst, Massachusetts, victim to bronchitis which, believe it or not, is in no way related to my smoking. Finally, my gratitude to the Wise Serbian Sage for his more-than-generous and appropiate invitation.

Enjoy.


Return of the Banana Lord



- Damn right. That's what banana trees look like.



- Taking a swing armed with the blade the workers like to call "el puñalon"



- I like to think of this as the pinnacle of my banana picker career.



- No wonder John Lawrenson called me in my last Record of Progress "erratic".




- Eventually the hard work pays off. With any luck, this delicacy here will be sold in the international market, delivered to your closest Narvesen or 7-Eleven and sold at a price fair to the consumer (namely, you) and the Banana Lord (namely, me).

- Sadly, it is not yet banana season in Honduras, so the banana shown above has not attained the yellow color and mushy consistency familiar to millions.

So, where to start??

Well, it has been a long summer and some crazy actions took place. After parting with the MF, Caveman, Mongolico, Bandido, Bozmeg, Trk, Mary and others in Flekke I went home and started clubbing and going to driving lessons. I found time to drop by Lebanon and visit Brenda where we went to many great places, saw the cedars, met some great people there

and I started smoking again. Got a nasty tarot cards warning which I managed to avoid up till now. On a funny note Beirut is the first airport where I heard people clapping when you land after Belgrade and Montenegro airports. And a first place where they gave me kai piranha in a club with normal lemon and blocks of ice.

Then I dropped by the Trk to Trkland and met his uncle Macho Turko. We went sightseeing Istanbul and managed to find exactly 6 Aya Sophias or however you write it.

The Trk looks as good old self in this pic. Anyhow we managed to drop by Izmir and see Tugce and spend a wonderful weekend there with her family. On the way back we couldn’t reach his uncle so we had an interesting situation. We were on the ferry smoking and figuring out that we are running out of options. I proposed that we go to a mosque and ask for a sanctuary or even better convince them that I am converting and need a spiritual guidance for that night. Well as I was reading Arabian nights I was inspired and said that “the Almighty will protect us”. No sooner that I said it we started laughing and some students there asked us what is so funny. Since they spoke only Turkish they started conversing with Akin and offered us a shelter for that night! Some people are just lucky, aren’t they?

Afterwards I came home and was looking forward to greet some guests. Bandidio, Klara and Oyvind came to Belgrade and we had a fucking great time. Ale was theatric and eccentric as you can see.

Otherwise I went sightseeing with them and to their amazement we went out on Tuesday. Wtf, every day is a good day to party in every country, wouldn’t you agree? Anyhow, Ale didn’t understand why he can’t lean on the podium until the dancers came and then he was just simply staring-hahaha.

Then out of nowhere Eduuuuuuuuuuuuuu my Guru called me from Honduras and we had a nice chat. He apparently spent time on banana plantation and fucked around making shit – surprised, anybody? Ramon also surprised me by telling me that he converted – brave decision he has my support to try something different in his life. MF and Bozmeg were working in the fish farm and got fleas. Probably some pussies as well.

As summer was running out I wanted to go to seaside. Me and my friend Stefan got this brilliant idea to go to Ios with the JungleTribe agency.

They have a really cool website you can check out www.jungletribe.com where they present themselves – there is even a Jungle game where you go and pick bananas with a monkey. I need to send that link to Mary. Anyhow they had this great action of going there with ferry and bus -36 hours in total with inevitable breaks where you get rakija and lemonade – Serbs after all hahha.

In the end that failed but still I will do it next year. Fortunately my parents went to Egypt so I had a tenday of summer holiday for myself here in Belgrade. In the meantime I managed to go through a red light on driving exam and hit on a girl who is engaged. Ain’t it great?

Until I reach London and/or start new actions worthy mentioning,

Nikola